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Chaos v1.5
Loving Hatred
~ why can't I stop loving you?
  Coverboys: Sakurazuka Seishirou &
  Sumeragi Subaru
  Manga: X/1999
  Comes with: Wallpaper
  Resolution: 800x600
  Comment: I love this pairing!! ^_^
  So angsty!!

Chaos v1.5 Wallpaper

~ If I Can't Be Yours ~
Loren & Mash
(Shin Seiki Evangelion)

Now its time
I fear to tell
I've been holding it
Back so long
But something strange
Deep inside of me
Is happening
I feel unlike I've ever felt
And it's making me scared
That I may not be what
I think I am

What of us
What do I say
Are we both
From a different world
Cos every breath that I take
I breathe it for you
I couldn't face
My life without you
And I'm so afraid
There's nothing to comfort us
What am I
If I can't be yours

I don't sleep
Don't feel a thing
And my senses
Have all but gone
Can't even cry
From the pain
Can't shed a tear
Now I realise
We're not the same
And it's making me sad
Cos we can't fufill
Our dreams in this life

So I must
Let us break free
I can never be what you need
If there was a way
Through the hurt
Then I would find it
I'd take the blows
Yes I would fight it
But this is the one
Impossible dream to live
What am I
If I can't be yours



Sakura Saku

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Chaos v1.0
Chaos v1.1
Chaos v1.2
Chaos v1.3
Chaos v1.4

.: Thursday, August 02, 2001 :.

*sighs* this week has sucked in a majorly big way....

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Li Bie De Che Zhan" -- Vicky ]

Chinese song from that Taiwanese series Qing Shen Shen Yu Meng Meng ^_^ The songs from that are REALLY NICE!!

Anyways, my sucky week... since Saturday, I have had a severe cold... which means I constantly have a blocked/runny nose, congested ears -- ie. I can't hear anything properly -- my headache comes and goes as it pleases, more often than not coming back when I don't want it to *growls*, my throat hurts and I'm coughing till my stomach muscles kill me.

On top of that, I had to do my nine hour UMAT preparation course on Sunday while sniffling away, looking at little bloody lines to find stupid shapes until I'm half blind; do a maths competition on Tuesday while sniffling away and battling a massive headache; do my english creative writing assessment while sniffling away and loaded up on pain-killers for the headache today (Wednesday); and then I started my second semester of University Accounting at which I sat there in my two hour lecture sniffling away..

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Scarlet" -- Piano Solo ]

So, did I mention sniffling away yet??

And then at the end of my two hour lecture, at the beginning of which I found out that I needed extra notes for the subject and therefore needed to buy it from the bookshop, went to the bookshop and found that it was sold out!! What the hell?!?! It's the first week back in Uni!! Why the HELL are they sold out already after three g-damned days?!?!?

*growls* So as you can probably guess, I'm not a happy little girl right now.... I haven't been a happy little for a while now actually... So basically, I just needed a place to rant and since I'm sure nobody wants to hear my stuffed up voice ranting away for a few minutes, I figured this is what Chaos is for...

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Ice Blue Eyes" -- Sakurai Tomo (Makimachi Misao) ]

I'm gonna wag school tomorrow, or today, depending on how you look at it -- personally for me, a day doesn't end until I go to sleep which is why one day could possibly extend till 5:30am of the next day when I'm really pressed for time -- except on occasions when I pull all nighters.... but that's a different story...

I have four free periods and then english and maths.... since we're probably not gonna do much in those classes except watch Othello and then continue with Vector Calculus, me thinks I'll just skip... and hope that I can at least get a LITTLE better by Friday........

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Tuxedo Mirage" -- Peach Hips ]

*yawns* I need sleep.... my sinuses are killing me.... *sigh* Colds just aren't fun!
Shikami Yamino at 12:14 AM

.: Sunday, July 22, 2001 :.

Waahh~!! I have officially survived the first week of school~!! And now I'm so loaded down with work that it's not funny anymore... -_-;; I know I've said this again and again, but I do need to say it one more time... LIFE SUX~!!!

*grins* There, much better now.... Didja know that eating jelly babies and biting off their heads first is very VERY therapeutic?? *evil grin* Well, lemme tell you... try it~!! ^_^ I guarantee after the first few you'll start laughing *L*

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Eden" -- To Destination ]

WAAAIIII~!!!! Yami no Matsuei opening~!!! So addictive~!!! So dark!! So good~~~~~~!!!! ^_^

For those of you who don't know, yes I have just been dragged into yet ANOTHER anime/manga by Sutsume-chan. This time, the ever addictive Yami no Matsuei... From what I gather, it's relatively new... at least the anime is... And it's GOOD~!!!!

First of all, it features good seiyuus~!!!! ^_^ Miki Shinichirou (Keisuke from FY, Yoji from Weiss Kreuz) plays Tsuzuki, the main character with the awesome purple eyes~!!! Waaaiiii~!! Bishi~!!! And then there's Watari, played by one of my favorites, Seki Toshihiko~!!! Also known as Duo Maxwell~!!!

And then there's Hisoka... so cute!! so stubborn~!! So cool~!!! Wanna see a piccy?? Sutsume-chan's Sakura Saku v5.0 -- Monochrome features none other than this kawaii bishounen~!! Go see!! ^_^

And of course, Muraki-sensei.... now talk about your weirdos.... but cool weirdos ^_^

So basically, if you haven't seen Yami no Matsuei, you should!!! *nodnod*

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Honoo no Sogekimono" -- Tomizawa Michie (Hino Rei) ]

Oh and then there's my other new obsession with Gravitation.... *cringe* I have too many obsessions..... But but but~!! I actually picked out Seki Tomokazu's voice as Shindou Shuuichi~!!! *falls to the floor laughing* Seriously, trying to imagine Seki Tomokazu as Shuuichi is SO weird~!! I only picked it up coz Shuu-kun was yelling and I could hear Ken from Weiss Kreuz in his voice.... but OMG~!! It's soooo hilarious~!!! Especially the HUGE eyes he gets after he... *snickers* I won't spoil it for those who don't know... And the guy bloody looks like Omi from Weiss!! Imagine Omi with a chibified version of Ken's voice~!! *LMAO*

And then there's Touma-kun~!! Whose voice Sutsume-chan picked out... I mean seriously, take a look at him and tell me you don't see grown up Qua-chan~!! *giggles* And guess who does his voice?? Orikasa Ai~!!!!! In other words, Qua-chan!!! *LOL* Touma-kun is also the head of a large record company therefore easy to imagine as a grown up Qua-chan with Winner Enterprises!!! ^_^ Just watching the thing gave me and Sutsume-chan ficcy ideas about the G-boys in a rock band with Qua-chan as the manager!! *L*

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Eyes" -- The S.H.E. ]

Oh and did I mention Koyasu Takehito?? *snickers* Koyasu Takehito plays the absolute idiot of a producer for Shuuichi's band, Bad Luck... *LOL* And I laugh because he sounds more like Hanagata from Saber Marionette fame than Hotohori, Zechs or even Aya from WK -- a voice which Sutsume-chan hates!! ^o^

And then there's the other member of Bad Luck, Nakano Hiroshi. Hiro-kun or Hi-kun for short~!! *grins* remind anyone of a certain perfect soldier??

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Flying Away" -- Midorikawa Hikaru (Heero Yuy) ]

*giggles* Speak of Spandex Boy and he appears ^_^

But anyways, Hiroshi's voice is done by Matsumoto Yasunori... Gourry Gabriev from Slayers!! Kawaii~!! And he sounds cool and collected here, nothing like the fool tone he uses for Gourry!! Cool voice~!!

Who else... oh yeah... Okiayu Ryuutarou -- Treize from GW, Hakushaku from Yami no Matsuei (^^;;) and Takagi Shimon from Sotsugyou M -- plays Ryuuichi's bodyguard... and Touma Yumi -- Sally from GW, Yui from FY and Sylphiel from Slayers -- plays some secretary or something that works in Touma-kun's company..... Waahhh~!! So many recognizable seiyuus!!!

Gravitation is good~!!

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Kurayami ni Akai Bara" -- Ogata Megumi (Kurama) ]

Ooohhh... Kurama songs~!! So long since I've heard Kurama songs... ^_^

Okies okies... me gotta go.... me have Chinese school in.... ten hours... and me need some sleep ^^;;;

^_^ Finally updates to ED and Emotions have been finished~!!! ^_^

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Thanatos ~ If I Can't Be Yours" -- Loren & Mash ]

The title song for Chaos v1.5 ^_^ For those of you unfamiliar with the Seishirou/Subaru situation from both CLAMP's Tokyo Babylon and X, let's just say that they're probably the ultimate example of the love/hate relationship *LOL* Reminds me of Romeo and Juliet sorta.... Although they don't commit suicide... ^^;;;

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Perfect World" -- Sakamoto Chika (Nuriko) ]

Waaiiii~!!!! It's been so long since I heard this last.... Nuri-chan~~!!! Nuri-chan has a good voice!! Nuri-chan has sad songs~!! Nuri-chan died~!!!! *sniffles* Ashitare bad! Bad Ashitare!! Ashitare o korosu~!!!

*sweatdrops* Sorry... had to get that outta my system.... But Nuri-chan shouldn't have died~!!!!! *cries* And this song is so sad... but it reminds me of "What Dreams May Come" which I need to continue... *cringe* Ayah.... so much to do and so little time!! Me got school soon~!!! Me hate school~!! School sucks!!! =P But then I guess you knew that a long time ago ne??

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Never Get Away" -- Ueda Yuuji (Suboshi) ]

Waai~! Twins~!! Me like Suboshi better than Amiboshi!! *LOL* Probably coz I'm evil so I tend to like the evil twin better..... But the evil twin shouldn't have killed Tama-chan's family!! *nodnod* No matter how evil you are, you should never mess with kind old people and kawaii kids!! Or else FEAR the wrath of SHINIGAMI~!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~~!!!! *cough* *choke* *sheepish grin* Anou.... excuse me.... I think I may be suffering a bit more sleep-deprivation than I think......

ARGH~!!! I hate Tripod!! Tripod sucks!! Tripod o korosu!!!

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Oretachi no Sotsugyou" -- E.M.U. ]

Waii! Genki song!!

But it won't help my mood!! Bloody Tripod won't let me use the nice Team Gundam wallpaper because it's too big!! ARGH~!!! Me hate Tripod!!! Where's Hee-chan when you need him?? Or maybe Qua-chan.... Qua-chan can go ZERO and blow up Tripod with Wing Zero's buster rifle!! *evil cackle* Blasted Tripod!! Demolished Tripod!! Toasted Tripod!!! <-- Hey! Alliteration!!! *LOL*

Okay... maybe I should get off this high..... *sweatdrops* Easier said than done.... And this high is so totally ruining the atmosphere for Chaos v1.5..... -_-;;; Gomen ne Sei-kun! Subaru!!

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Fair Wind" -- Takagi Wataru (Valgarv) ]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA~!!! This is the song that makes Sutsume-chan cringe!! *giggles* Personally, I don't think it's that bad... it's just the English grammar that's bad bad!! *LOL* And the voice is definitely NOT what I expected from Valgarv!! But... it's cute... as long as you don't listen too closely to the lyrics!! ^_^

*cringe* Looking back on those last few paragraphs, me thinks Sutsume-chan is rubbing off on me a little more than I'd like.... But then my morbidness is rubbing off on her so we're even!! *LOL*

[ Shikami's winamp now playing: "Zero" -- Midorikawa Hikaru ]

Zero!! Zero!!! Me love this song!!

Wish I could go ZERO.... *pout* The first thing I'd do is blow up Tripod!! *snickers* Hai~!!!!!

Okies okies.... me thinks me better go before me scare all of you away.... *grins* Ja ne!!